Spooked
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: While the O.W.C.A plans for its big Halloween party, Perry is forced to watch his young son Palmer, who has a knack for getting him into trouble. (Terribly sorry about the i's around the italics- again, getting used to this site, will fix soon)
1. Chapter 1

"Okay, Agent P. Just sit right up there." Carl patted down a spot on the O.W.C.A examination table.

Perry gave him a skeptical look.

"I know, Monogram usually does this. But I've been studying! And maybe I can get promoted to vet!"

"You can't, Carl." Monogram said. He was sitting nearby, reading a book.

"Anyway, let's get your vaccine over with." Carl went to the cupboard.

Perry sat down on the table and looked at Monogram's book, "Behind the scenes with Ducky Momo".

"Okay." Carl picked up the shot and pressed it so that a little bit of liquid squirted out the top. "Now what, sir?"

"Carl, why did you just do that?"

"Do what?"

"Push some of the vaccine out?"

"You always do that!"

"Only if it's over the amount that it needs to be! The amount was perfect! Now you have to set it up again!"

Perry was starting to wonder if he should be concerned.

Carl sighed and tried again. "Okay. Now I give it to him?"

"NO, Carl, you have to clean off a spot on his arm first. PLEASE do this correctly so I don't have to keep looking up. This is an interesting chapter: 'The rise of Ducky Momo.'"

Carl cleaned off Perry's arm with cotton. "All right, Agent P. Ready?"

Perry held out his arm and covered his eyes with his free hand.

"You know, if I get really good with medicine and stuff, I may be able to graduate so I can become a vet."

Perry waited.

"Then I might give you your shots whenever you needed them."

Perry opened one eye and glared at Carl. Carl was just standing there, holding the shot, and gabbing away.

"Maybe I could even-"

"Carl!" Monogram barked. "Look at the poor thing! Just do it so he doesn't have to worry about it any more!"

"Okay, sir! Sorry."

Perry closed his eye again.

"CARL! KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!"

"Sorry, sir. It's hard to watch!"

"Just do it!"

Perry winced as he felt the sharp pinch. When it was over, he uncovered his eyes.

"There you go. You're good for two months now!" Carl said cheerfully. He went over to the trash can.

"CARL! Put it in the sharps disposer!"

"Oh. Right. Sorry, sir." Carl corrected his mistake. "Take any bandage you want, Agent P. They're on the cart over there. So, Monogram, who's next?"

"No, Carl, I'll do the rest of the job today." Monogram growled. "I'll read my book later."

Perry stuck a clear bandage on his throbbing arm and left the room.

Greeting him was a huge sign, covered in sparkling orange glitter with a big pumpkin on it.

"COME TO O.W.C.A'S HALLOWEEN BASH! OCTOBER 30!" It said.

Darren the duck was holding the sign. He grinned at Perry. "Isn't it amazing?"

"That is one epic sign." Perry admitted.

"I bet it's gonna scare Carrie senseless." Darren said.

Carrie the cat was very skittish. She'd gone to Disney once and had been thoroughly terrified by the merry-go-round.

"Are you going to the party this year?" Darren asked.

"You know how I am with parties."

"There's gonna be cupcakes!"

"Cupcakes are a crime against cake." Perry said.

"Come on, Perry, I'm planning it this year. I promise it won't be awful."

"It won't be, Darren. I just don't like parties."

"You like cake, right?"

"Yeah, but…"

"And you like cookies?"

"Everyone loves cookies."

"Good! So you'll go. Now help me think up scary stuff for it."

"I can bring Candace's old clown toy."

"Not Carlos the caring clown again."

Perry nodded. "Oh yes. Last week I stuck him in the microwave. But guess what? After he exploded, he magically went back together! I think Phineas bought a new one again…"

"Didn't you explode the first Carlos in the toilet?"

"Yeah. World's best flood. Only rubber duckie survived. Hey, you want scary? Stick pictures of violent, gory…"

"I'm not allowed. It has to be G rated."

"Then put up a picture of a unicorn."

"Unicorns are not scary."

"Are you kidding? That pointy horn could stab you! And glittery, cheerful things are ALWAYS hiding something."

"All hail the platypus who fears nothing but unicorns and keeps a two-year-old sandwich in a box."

"His name is STEVE." Perry retorted. "And for your information, he's two and three quarters."

"Fine, I'll stick some unicorns around. And maybe some pink ponies and baby blue kitty cats!"

"Why do you mock me?"

"Then I'll put up bats and cats. See ya." Darren went down the hall to talk to Devon the dog.

Perry approached the elevator to go back home. He REALLY hated parties.

* * *

"Oh, there you are, Perry." Phineas was carving a pumpkin. "Ferb and I made a giant pumpkin, but I don't know what happened to it."

Perry looked away from Phineas, recalling the day's previous events.

_iPerry leapt into Doofenshmirtz's apartment and was instantly trapped in a fake spiderweb._

_"Ah, Perry the platypus!" Doofenshmirtz uncovered his latest inator. "Allow me to introduce you to my latest creation: the pumpkininator!"_

_Perry struggled to break free from his trap._

_"I bet you're wondering what it does. Well, it causes all the pumpkins in the tri-state area to evaporate!" Doofenshmirtz rubbed his hands together. "You see, back in Gimmelshtump, I was never allowed to carve my own Halloween pumpkins. So now I will take away everyone ELSE'S Halloween pumpkins! And then afterward, I'm going to watch 'El Matador De Amor'."_

_Perry narrowed his eyes._

_"And now, watch helplessly as I destroy EVERY PUMPKIN IN THE TRI-STATE AREA!" Doofenshmirtz pushed a large button. The inator zapped a random area._

_Perry wiggled around until he was able to stick a hand into one of his fur pockets. He grabbed hold of his emergency scissors and started cutting himself free._

_"Yes! I am a genius!" Heinz shouted._

_Perry cut the last bit of the web and leapt at the evil scientist._

_"AAAAGGHH!" Doofenshmirtz tried to pull Perry off of his back, but Perry held on tightly. He started to punch him._

_Doofenshmirtz's head bashed the self-destruct button on the pumpkininator, which promptly exploded._

_"CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"/i_

Perry felt bad about the boys' Halloween pumpkin. He would make it up to them… somehow.

* * *

Perry was sitting in his lair, staring at the floor, when his friend Poppy entered, closely followed by Palmer.

Perry watched Palmer cautiously. He'd forgotten that platypuses aged quicker than humans. Palmer was hardly a baby now, already walking on two legs.

"Good to see you again." He said quietly.

"Settle down!" Poppy joked. "No need to get overexcited." She gave him a hug. "Palmer, you remember your daddy, right?"

Palmer folded his arms. "Aren't you the guy who almost fell out of the plane?"

"He remembers." Perry said.

"I hate to spring this on you." Poppy apologized. "Animals are coming in to paint the garage, and I have some stuff I need to do… could you…"

"Watch him?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

Poppy beamed. "Thanks so much. I'm sorry I can't stay. Be good, Palmer."

Palmer shrugged.

Poppy went back up the elevator. Perry stood up. "Haven't seen you in two weeks."

"Yeah. I know. Can I walk around?"

"Need me to guide you?"

"I know where everything is already." Palmer insisted. "I was here only two weeks ago."

"Right." Perry nodded. "My mistake. Go ahead."

Palmer went into the main room.

Perry sighed and sat back down. He hoped Palmer would behave himself.

From what Perry remembered, the kid was a troublemaker.


	2. Chapter 2

Monogram stood in front of all the agents. "I called you here to discuss our latest Halloween party!"

The agents cheered.

"Because they haven't discussed it enough already." Perry mumbled.

"Whadja say?" Palmer asked.

"Nothing."

"Now, Agent D is hosting this spectacular event." Monogram continued. "There will be food, drinks, games and everyone will come in costume!"

Perry looked toward Palmer to see his reaction.

Palmer wasn't there.

Panicked, Perry shoved aside Otis the owl and Rayne the rabbit to see if Palmer was behind them.

"There will also be a… ACK!"

Perry turned and stared at Monogram.

Monogram's pants had fallen down. Palmer was standing near him, chewing thoughtfully on his belt.

"AGENT P!" Monogram yelled.

Perry went up to the front. Monogram glared at him. "Watch your child."

"Palmer, come here. Give Monogram back his belt."

"I found it, so I get to keep it." Palmer snapped.

"Palmer."

Palmer rolled his eyes and thrust the belt back into Monogram's hand. He stormed away.

"I don't expect that from you, Agent P." Monogram scolded. "You have to keep watch of him while he's here. He is YOUR responsibility. DON'T let him do anything like that again, you hear?"  
Perry scowled. Monogram knew he hated being chided, especially while the other agents were watching.

He went over to Palmer, grabbed his hand, and dragged him out of the room.

"You can't just go around and DO stuff like that!" He growled.

"I like doing it." Palmer said.

"I don't care. You have to behave. I get the blame for anything you do here."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just do!"

"Well, that's a stupid rule."  
"It may be stupid, but it's in effect. So don't try anything funny."  
"Stop yelling at me!"

Perry sat him down in a chair. "I'm sorry. I'm just under a lot of pressure right now. This is around the time that agents get bonus checks. That's…"

"A big wad of money. I'm not an idiot."

Perry smiled a little. "Good to have you back, Pal."

Palmer smiled too.

Darren came over to them. "What do you think, Perry? Should we have vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting or chocolate cupcakes with orange cream frosting?"

"Are you his friend?" Palmer asked.

Perry ignored him. "I'd say the chocolate ones. You can't go wrong with chocolate. And don't forget to get plain ones, so the dogs don't get sick."

"You're good at this." Darren said, scribbling down the information. "For someone who hates parties, you sure got a flair for planning them."

"And he can kick your butt." Palmer said.

Darren stared at him for a moment. "Who's that?"

"Palmer. You remember him. He blew you up a few weeks ago."

Darren nodded. "Ah yes. He made the paint tracks on the floor. You're growing up nicely, aren't you?"

Palmer shrugged. "I dunno."

"Well, I gotta get back to planning! See you guys later!" Darren waved and left.

Perry turned back to Palmer. "I'm going to fix things up with Monogram. You think you can manage?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Perry flopped down on the O.W.C.A meeting table, holding an empty mug.

Monogram had made the last pot of coffee and drank it all. Perry practically ran on the stuff.

"I have gathered all you agents together to, once again, discuss the Halloween bash." Darren said. He was at the head of the table.

"Mm." Perry mumbled. He closed his eyes.

"Halloween is scary." Carrie whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Peter the panda asked.

"She's scared Halloween will find her if she doesn't." Ferdinand the frog joked.

"Perry? Are you awake?" Darren asked.

"No."

"Can you sit up?"

"No."  
"You had all night to sleep."  
"Sleeping is good for Perry."  
"Let's get an ice bucket." Pinky said loudly.

"No ice." Perry muttered. "Monogram forgot to do the thing where you go and you get stuff and give money and get ice."

"Shopping?" Pinky suggested.

"Yeah. That word."

"Let's play pillow fight!" Palmer shouted, popping up between Pinky and Perry. He sped away.

"Loud noise hurts ears." Perry held out his mug. "Cup so empty…"

"Get him some coffee, for the love of Pete." Darren growled.

"We're out." Peter said. "Monogram drank it."

"Well, find some!"

"Go do the thing and go and pay money and get the wonderful coffee that makes Perry happy and not sleepy." Perry said drowsily.

"Stop talking like that." Pinky said.

"Hm?"

"You know, that 'Perry likes coffee' stuff."

"But Perry does like coffee. It makes him very happy…"

"YOU'RE Perry. You say I like coffee."

"I'm Perry?"

"YES!"

"…Oh. I forgot. You're right. I am Perry… right?"

"He's useless right now." Ferdinand said.

"Yeah, I see that."

Palmer returned and poured some coffee into Perry's mug.

"Where'd you get that?" Darren asked.

Palmer smiled. "It's a secret."

Perry sat up and blinked, staring at his mug. He took a drink.

"…Better." He said after a moment. He finished the rest off.

"Palmer, isn't that cup you used to pour the coffee with Monogram's?" Ferdinand asked.

"Yep."

"Okay then." Ferdinand said. "Back to the topic."

"I think the costumes shouldn't be too freaky." Darren said. "We don't want to terrify anyone."

"All you have to do to terrify Carrie is dress up like a pretty fairy princess." Peter reminded him.

"Let's draw the line at unicorn costumes." Perry said. "Especially if they have sharp horns."

"Maybe we could do a scary event." Peter said. "Like…"

The lights went out.

"Like that!" Peter clapped his paws. "We can turn out all the lights and poke people and pretend we're ghosts! We can call it Boo Time!"

"PALMER." Perry warned.

"Whaddya want?"

"Turn the lights go back on. You're getting too old to chew wires."

"They're not gonna chew themselves!"  
"And aren't we glad for that. Push the emergency switch."

Dim lights came on.

"You'll get your stupid check, I guess." Palmer growled. He sat down on the floor and folded his arms.

"You can't get mad at me for not letting you destroy a wire." Perry said gently.

"I'm bored."  
Darren looked around. "Where's my orange glitter? I had it right here…"

Perry held out his hand.

Palmer gave him a confused look.

"Cough it up, buddy." Perry whispered.

Palmer stuck his hand in a fur pocket and tossed Perry the glitter.

"Go find something to do." Perry turned back to the others and stuck the glitter on the table.

"There it is!" Darren said happily.

* * *

"And the kitty goes!"

"Meow!"

"And the doggie goes!"

"Woof!"

"And the cow goes!"

"Moo!"

"And the platypus goes!"

Monogram waited, staring at Perry across the table. Perry was reading something.

"And the platypus goes!"

Perry licked his finger and turned a page of his book.

"Agent P?" Monogram stopped strumming his guitar. "Aren't you going to sing 'That's how the animals go' with us?"

Perry looked up, bored.

Monogram started strumming again. "And the platypus goes…"

Perry stared at him.

Devon fell asleep and started to snore. "GNAAAKKKKK…"

"Good, Agent P!" Monogram hadn't been watching.

Perry felt a little offended. He looked back down at his book.

"All right, agents!" Monogram held up a small device. "I think we've practiced enough. Let's record it for our O.W.C.A answering machine!"  
The animals cheered. All except for Devon, who muttered "Gravy…" in his sleep.

Carl started the recording.

"AAAAND… The frog goes!"

"Ribbit!"

"And the monkey goes!"

"Eee!"

"And the pig goes!"

"Oink!"

Perry closed the book. It was dusty.

"And the bear goes!"

"Gggchoo! Gggchoo! Ggghgggchoo!" Perry sneezed on Bernie the bear.

Bernie looked disgusted. "Grrr!"

"Nice harmony, boys!" Monogram stopped the recording. "But please wait until I say 'the platypus goes', Agent P."

Perry hated the stupid song. He'd much rather be at home. But he had to stay at the agency, where Palmer was, until Poppy got back…

Frustrated, he slammed his book down on the table, waking Devon.

"HEY! WAITER! COME BACK! I NEED A SIDE ORDER OF…" Devon yelled. He looked around. "Uh… woof?"

Perry stormed out of the room, dialing on his videophone. It was almost suppertime. How long was she supposed to be gone?  
Poppy answered after a couple of rings. "Hi, Perry. How's Palmer doing?"  
"How is he doing? Let's see. He broke the lights system, stole a belt and some glitter, ate a picture book and deleted one of Carl's documents. Oh, and he stuck an egg in Monogram's pocket. How's your day been?"

Poppy frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm a little hung up right now and can't grab him."  
"I have to get home in like ten minutes."

"So take him with you."

"Hey, I'd like our house to still be standing by the time you get back!"

"You're getting tired. Did you work hard?"

"I've been helping my friend plan a stupid party, so yeah! Get your kid before I lose it!"

"Perry, call me later when you're less stressed. You're talking crazy."

Perry shut the phone off and angrily turned to go back into the dreaded Singing Room.

Palmer was standing right behind him, looking heartbroken.

"I…" How long had he been there? Perry tried again. "Palmer, I'm just…"

Palmer ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Perry banged on the bathroom door. "Please come out! I'm really sorry… I was tired… I'd been listening to a stupid song for eight minutes… I'm starved… I meant none of it!"  
"You were mean to mommy." Palmer responded.

Perry hesitated. He'd expected Palmer to be upset about the things Perry had said about HIM.

"What?"  
"You yelled at her and hung up on her. Just because she couldn't come."

"Pal…"

"You never visited us. She had to take care of me all by herself."

"I couldn't come, Palmer."

"And now she can't come and you're yelling at her."

Perry sighed. "Pal, please come out."

Palmer opened the door and looked at him sadly. "I just wish you lived with us, that's all."

"I have a family here. I didn't know I was going to have you. I couldn't just leave them."

Palmer pouted. "It's not fair. This is only the second time I ever got to see you."

Perry gave him a hug. "Want to come home with me? We'll get dinner."

* * *

Phineas and Ferb were overjoyed to see Palmer again.

Phineas didn't even complain as he made them their supper. He set down two bowls on the floor.

Palmer's bowl said Bucky on it. Bucky had been the family dog before Perry was born. He'd gotten sick and went to live on Kindly Old Man Simmons' farm.

Perry was pretty sure he'd seen Kindly Old Man Simmons' skeleton in the Danville Museum.

Candace came in, gabbing away on her cell phone. "So I was all like 'yeah' and she was all like 'whatever' and then I was like 'ohmigosh' and then she…"

Perry snarfed down his food. Palmer did the same.

Palmer then walked over to the refrigerator and threw up.

"I can see they're related." Linda muttered, going to get the towel she often used to clean up Perry's 'artwork'.

"Love the tile art." Perry said. "Maybe one day I can teach you how to make rug art."

"The mommy's cleaning it up." Palmer said sadly.

"Rug art lasts longer because it absorbs." Perry explained. "It's a battle of the arts."

"I'm still hungry. Can we get some more food out of the fridge?"

"Later. My family can't know that we can open the fridge."

"I'll find something else to eat, then." Palmer ambled off.

Candace put her phone down on the table. "Oh my gosh, you won't believe what Stacy just told me about Jeremy!"

Phineas and Ferb exchanged glances.

"What did she say?" Lawrence asked.

"Let me che- EEK! My phone! Where did it go?"

Perry looked around for the phone. Candace usually dropped it on the floor. And it usually broke.

"Here." Phineas handed her his cell phone. "Try calling it with mine. When it rings, you'll know where it is."

"I'm tired." Palmer complained. He lay down on the floor and promptly fell asleep.

Perry picked him up in his mouth and carried him over to his pet bed. He plopped him on it.

Then he curled up next to his son and closed his eyes.

Candace called herself on Phineas' phone.

Palmer started to vibrate. Perry opened his eyes.

A muffled ringing noise came from Palmer.

"That's not good." Perry muttered. He covered Palmer up with his blanket.

"I hear it!" Candace followed the sound.

She looked down in the pet bed.

Very slowly, she lifted up the blanket.

"Ring! Ring!" Went Palmer's stomach.

Candace exploded. "PHINEAS AND FERB! YOUR UGLY SMELLY PLATYPUS WENT AND HAD A BABY AND IT ATE MY PHONE!"

"Don't worry, Candace. You'll get it back." Phineas said.

"After a few hours." Ferb added.

"EEW." Candace slammed Phineas' phone down on the table and stormed upstairs.

Palmer rolled over in his sleep.

Perry smiled a little.

* * *

One of Perry's favorite places to sleep was on Candace's bed.

Her covers were really soft. Perry had gone up there to rest after three of Candace's friends had called her.

Palmer slept through it all like a log, but the vibrating kept waking Perry up.

Candace woke up and stretched. "Good morning, Jeremy." She told Mr. Miggins, her teddy bear.

Mr. Miggins had a picture of Jeremy's face taped to him.

"EEW!" Candace screamed, seeing Perry.

Perry chattered.

Candace picked him up and threw him out of her room, slamming the door. Perry shook himself off and went to find Palmer.

Palmer was already climbing up the stairs. "Wherdja go?"

"I was in Candace's room. I just got kicked out, though."

"Oh. Some girl named Stacy left her a voicemail."

"I can't believe you ATE her phone."

"I was hungry. What was I supposed to do, eat air?"

"You could eat a toy. His name's Carlos the caring clown."

Palmer narrowed his eyes. "I'll pass. Why did Candace kick you out of her room?"

"She just does that sometimes."

"She's mean to you?" Palmer opened Candace's door and went in.

"Palmer, what are you-"

"AAAGGGGGGG! PHINEAS AND FERB! YOUR STUPID PET'S STUPID BABY IS RUNNING AWAY WITH MY SHOE!"

Palmer flew past, holding Candace's shoe in his mouth. Candace wasn't far behind him.

"Aww, look." Phineas, closely followed by Ferb, came out from their room. "He's playing!"

Palmer leaped down the stairs.

Candace ran after him.

Phineas ran after Candace.

Ferb picked up Perry and followed them.

Palmer jumped onto the kitchen counter and placed the shoe innocently in the microwave. Then he pushed the "Frozen Meal" button with his nose.

"NO!" Screamed Candace.

The microwave lit up. The shoe started to spin around.

Palmer watched happily.

The shoe started to expand.

KA-BOOOM!

The microwave turned completely black. Small traces of smoke puffed out from the sides.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Phineas pumped his fist into the air. "The shoe, like, blew up!"

"Cool." Said Ferb.

Candace opened the microwave. "Now what am I going to wear? Those shoes went with everything I own!"

Perry chattered.

"YOU!" Candace growled. "I ought to…"

"Aw, Baby Perry didn't know any better." Phineas said defensively, picking up Palmer.

Palmer started to ring.

Phineas felt around Palmer's stomach and gave it a small push. He held Palmer up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, it's Jeremy! Is your sister ready for her date?"

"Yep. Bye." Phineas pushed Palmer's tummy again. "Good news, Candace! Your phone was swallowed while it was open, so you can still answer it!"

"Forget it!" Candace snapped. She trudged back up to her room.

* * *

"Guesssss whatatttttt!" Darren said when Perry came down to headquarters.

"Ducky Momo's president."

Darren shook his head.

"Doofenshmirtz fell in the toilet again."

"Okay, it's not fair to make you guess because I gotta tell you two things. Look!" Darren pointed behind him.

The room behind him had been transformed. It was filled with plastic pumpkins, bats and cats. Cobwebs lined the walls. A big plastic skeleton stood at the entrance.

In the middle of the center table sat a box.

"HEY! That's my box!" Perry ran over to it and looked inside. "What are you doing with it?"

"It's terrifying. That old smelly sandwich…"

Perry folded his arms. "STEVE."

"Right. And there's some bloody string-like thing in there, too. Very creepy."

"That string's one of my stitches."

"What?"

"Remember those stitches I had in my leg? That's one of them."

"EEW! I TOUCHED IT." Darren flailed his wings. "GROSS."

"Okay, new rule: MY box stays in MY closet where it belongs."

"Hakuna Matata! I ain't touching that thing ever again!"

Perry picked up his box. "So, nice party you got here."

"I know, right? Everything's perfect. What are you gonna be for it?"

"I dunno. I'll come as myself."

"That's lame, Perry. Come on. Be more festive!"

"Okay, I'll come as whatever Phineas and Ferb dress me up in."  
"Thanks!" Darren grinned. "Carrie won't come near here. She claimed she had to stop an inizer of Rodney's and ran away REALLY fast."

Perry laughed. "She's got nerves of steel when she fights, but when she's not on duty, she's literally a scaredy-cat."  
Darren nodded. "By the way, that… thing I touched isn't like Steve, right? You didn't name it?"

Perry hesitated. "No."

"Good." Darren looked back into the room. "This is gonna be a great Halloween party!"

"See ya." Perry turned to leave. "I gotta stick this box back in my closet and drop Palmer off with his mom."

He started off. Then he turned back.  
"Its name is Mr. Stitch."

"AGG!" Darren covered his ears.

* * *

Palmer dragged Perry into the garage.

It had been completely transformed since Perry had last seen it. It had windows, and a staircase leading up to the second level. The walls were painted a sunny yellow, with small red flowers along the sides.

"You painted it!" Palmer ran over to Poppy, who had been standing by the window.

She hugged him. "I missed you! Did you have fun with daddy?"

"Uh huh! I got to put a shoe in the microwave and eat a cell phone and a picture book and chew a wire!"

"Sounds like he wasn't TOO much trouble." Poppy joked.

Perry smiled a little. "Nah. Let me know when you want me to take him again."

"Will do. Thanks for watching him."

Perry thought for a moment. "…Would you want to come to the agency on Friday?"

Poppy raised an eyebrow. "Any reason?"

"My friend's having this Halloween party. If you and Palmer wanted to come…"

"We'll come!" Palmer said happily.

Poppy nodded. "We'll be there. Thanks!"

Perry smiled a little. "Kay. See you then."


	4. Chapter 4

Perry and Darren were focused on the agency's computer, playing a game called Jump and Duck.

Darren had been disappointed at first to find out that "Duck" meant "ducking down", and that the game didn't have any ducks in it, but after a few minutes of watching Perry play, he was hooked.

"Quick! Jump up!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!"  
"Duck! Duckduckduck!"

"Quack quack."

"Not funny, Perry!"  
"There, I ducked."

Monogram came over to them. "You two have been glued to that computer since this morning. I spent loads of money on stimulating toys for you, you know. They're in the box over there."

"Jump!"

"I'm on it! Stupid fruit, I'm on my last life…"

"Play with the toys!" Monogram begged. "It's not good to be staring at a screen for that long." He cleared his throat. "Unless, of course, I'M on the screen…"

"AGG!" Perry hit his head with his fist.

"Game over! Game over! Game over!" Said the computer.

"You almost had it." Darren said sadly.

"Game over! Game over!"

"SHUT UP!" Perry told the computer.

"Come on, boys." Monogram lifted them up and carried them over to a big box. He pulled out a small bell and a fishtank full of water with treats floating in it.

He put the bell on the floor and removed the lid from the tank. "Agent D, you try to pick that up. Agent P, try and get the treats. This will help you with your instincts."

Monogram left.

Darren picked up the bell. "What now?"

Perry stuck his hand in the fishbowl and ate a handful of treats. "That was almost impossibly easy."

Darren looked at the label on his bell. "Duck bell. Put on the ground for your duck. It will keep him busy for hours as he tries to pick it up with his beak, improving his natural instincts."

"I guess we're not supposed to use our hands." Perry stuck his head in the fishtank and attempted to get the treats.

Darren put the bell back down and tried to pick it up with his beak. "I'm failing miserably."

"Same here."

"That thing's big enough for your whole body, you know."

Perry jumped into the fishtank. It was actually kind of nice. He swam forward a little, using his tail to propel himself.

"It's so cool how you can do that." Darren commented, still trying to pick up the bell. "I can only stay underwater for a few seconds. And I have to keep my eyes closed!"

Perry smiled at him, even though he hadn't heard him through the glass and water.

He hadn't swum in a long time. It felt great.

* * *

Perry was in a rotten mood.

He'd gotten sick and thrown up on Monogram's desk, which Monogram hadn't taken so well. Perry had been yelled at for at least fifteen minutes. Then he had tripped over a sneaker and hit his head on the wall.

He stormed into his house through the pet door and crawled into his bed in the kitchen. He was going to take a nap.

"Ferb! Guess what I just got!" Phineas yelled, breaking the two-second silence. "I got a new CD! Let's play it really loud down in the kitchen!"

Perry growled and hunched up.

Phineas stuck his CD into the boom box and pushed play.

"Oh yeah, uh huh, oh yeah, uh huh!" Went the boom box.

"Who's this?" Ferb asked, coming down into the kitchen.

"Kendrine Adems, the new singer! This song is called 'Oh Yeah, Uh Huh'."

"Have you heard her single, 'Oh No, Nuh Uh'?" Ferb asked.

"Not yet! But I think it's next on the CD!"

"Oh yeah, uh huh, oh yeah, uh huh!"

Perry decided right then and there that he hated Kendrine Adems.

"Let's sing along with it!" Phineas said. "Oh yeah, uh huh… I gotta look up the lyrics, I don't know them all."

"They're easy!" Perry chattered. "Just sing 'Oh yeah, uh huh' until the end of time at full volume!"

"Perry's singing with us! He must like the song!" Phineas said.

Perry spit, his mindless way of showing displeasure.

Phineas and Ferb didn't notice. They were too busy dancing to the repulsive song.

* * *

"The party's in two days!" Darren sang.

Perry yawned.

"I'm going as Dr. Frankenstien!" Darren gave an evil laugh. "Did you get your costume yet?"

"I'm an Igor."

"Awesome. We'll match!"

"The party's not going to be TOO scary, right?" Carrie asked, coming up behind them.

"It wouldn't scare a baby." Darren responded.

"I'm going to be a princess." Carrie said. "It's the least scariest costume I could find."

"I'm going as the scariest thing of all!" Said Alan the alligator. "Mysseellllffff!"  
"They sell Alan costumes?" Carrie asked.

"Duh, Carrie. He's not WEARING a costume." Darren said.

"Candace is going as herself, too." Perry said.

"I made Halloween banana bread!" Devon carried a platter over to the group.

"I love banana bread!" Darren said. He grabbed a piece.

Devon handed one to everyone. "They're shaped like cute little pumpkins!"

Perry took a bite. "Good."

"We can serve these for refreshments!" Darren said. "Can you bake more?"

"Totally! Hey, I was wondering: Do you have music worked out? Because if you don't, I have the special Halloween edition Tiny Cowboy CD."

"I have music. Kendrine Adems."  
"Please, do Tiny Cowboy." Perry begged.

"I heard 'Oh Yeah, Uh Huh' last night on the radio!" Carrie said. "It was awesome!"

Perry started to cough.

"Man, who could ever write lyrics that amazing?" Darren said.

Perry got down on the floor and started gasping for air.

"You okay?" Devon asked.

"Can't… breathe!"

"Is he faking? I can't tell if he's faking." Darren said.

"Not… faking… air… not… going… to… lungs!"

"Did you choke on something?" Alan asked.

"Nah, he swallowed the only bit of banana bread he ate." Said Devon.

"Stop… talking… get help… idiots!"

* * *

"Good thing I was here!" Carl said proudly. "Monogram went out on a walk, but I was HERE!"

Perry was able to breathe easier now. He was lying down on the exam table.

"He just had an allergic reaction." Carl explained to the others. "Allergy to walnuts. But I figured it out and gave him the right medicine in time!"

Darren looked at Devon.

"There were walnuts in the bread." Devon said quietly. "I didn't know he was allergic."

"I didn't, either." Perry admitted. "But you should serve that bread. The life-threatening danger to people with walnut allergies makes it scary."

Monogram rushed into the room. "What happened, Carl? Agent E came to find me, saying Perry had an accident…"

"He had an allergic reaction to walnuts, but I fixed it!" Carl said. "And I did it right, too! I gave him the medicine and everything."

"Did you remember to give him the white medicine afterward? So he doesn't get sleepy?"

"Uh…" Carl looked away.

Perry fell asleep on top of the table.

Monogram glared at Carl.

"Well, at least I remembered to give him the allergy medicine…"

* * *

"You feeling any better?" Darren asked when Perry woke up.

"I still feel like I can't swallow. Man, I never knew a walnut could be so fatal…"

"You're still feeling okay, right? You'll be able to come to the party?"

"I don't know. Why are you so worried about me coming?"

"'Cause you're my friend."

Perry smiled a little. It was kind of nice to hear that, but at the same time a little strange when he thought of how Darren had treated him in the past. "It's not like I'm paralyzed or anything. I promise I'll be there."

Darren looked pleased.

"Poppy and Palmer are coming, too."  
"Really? That's awesome! What as?"

"Who knows."

Darren looked at him sideways. "Are you SURE you're okay?"

"I nearly was killed by a walnut and had my life saved by an intern."

"Right… I'll let you rest a little longer."

* * *

Perry climbed into the blow-up pool and jumped into the water.

"Hey look, Ferb!" Phineas said. "Perry's swimming in our new big pool with us!"

"He almost looks smart when he swims." Ferb said.

Perry was very happy. He steered himself toward Phineas.

"MOM!" Candace dragged Linda out into the backyard. "Look what Phineas and Ferb built!"

"Oh Candace, they didn't build that." Linda shook her head. "Their father bought that pool for them this morning. I kept telling him, it's the middle of fall. They aren't going to want to swim in the middle of fall…"

Perry surfaced next to Phineas. Phineas was wearing his huge winter coat, pants and boots in the water.

"The water's cold." Phineas explained, as if reading Perry's thoughts. "But what fun is fall if you can't swim? Ferb and I aren't going to let a little cold ruin our fun!"

Perry dived back underneath the water.

"You guys are crazy!" Candace shouted after Linda had gone back inside. "It's freezing out here!"

"We have our coats on." Phineas tried to swim over to the edge, but just floated lazily backward.

"You can't even swim with those huge coats!"

"She's right, Ferb." Phineas turned to look at his stepbrother. "Perry's the only one who can really get anywhere. And his watertight fur keeps him warm. Hey! We should make a suit that keeps you warm and is easy for swimming in at the same time! Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

Perry did a happy flip under the water. He enjoyed this feeling.

"We have to get out of the pool first." Ferb said.

"Right." Phineas waved his arms, trying to direct himself to the pool ladder. He rolled over onto his back and started floating. "Uh, Ferb…"

They stayed like that for a moment.

"MOOOOOOMMMMMM!"

* * *

The pool had been deflated. Perry sat in the middle of it.

He wished the boys had wanted to continue swimming. The water made him happy.

Maybe he'd get another chance one day.

He could always get into that treat-filled fishtank again.

But the party was tomorrow. He'd have to wait until afterward.

Perry sighed. He really missed that happy swimming feeling.

A cold breeze played with his fur.

Perry got up, shook himself off, and went back inside.


	5. Chapter 5

Perry poured a little bit of punch into his cup.

Carrie was in line behind him.

She turned to him and screamed.

"What?!" Perry asked.

Carrie hid her face.

Perry sighed. "Man, Carrie, it's only me!" He took out his fake teeth and smiled. "See?"  
Carrie peeked through her paws. "Oh. I thought you were a monster."

Perry shook his head. "Nope. I'm an Igor." He stuck his fake teeth back in.

Carrie stared at him for a second, then turned away.

"The cupcakes are good." Perry told her.

"They were shaped like spiders. I didn't eat them. They looked scary."

Perry took a sip of his punch.

"YOU CAME!" Darren rushed over to him and gave him a hug.

"I told you like eighteen times I would."

"I just wasn't sure. You hate parties so much… you rock!"

"Are Monogram and Carl here?"

"Nope. They both took the night off."

"Look what I am!" Palmer said, squeezing in between them.

"Hey, Pal!" Darren said.

Perry looked at Palmer's costume. "You're a… paper bag?"

"No, I'm an EVIL paper bag! See, I drew pointy teeth on it with crayons!"

"Awesome." Perry gave him a thumbs-up.

"Come on." Palmer grabbed Perry's hand and dragged him into the crowd.

They stopped in front of Poppy.

"Palmer, I told you not to run off like that." Poppy scolded.

"You look cute." Perry said.

"You've looked better." Poppy responded.

Perry laughed. "So, you're a goth chick?"

"Close. Goth Little Red Riding Hood."

"Twice the scary."

"Exactly. Palmer was going to be the wolf, but then he decided on Bag Boy."

Palmer folded his arms. "I'm an EVIL PAPER BAG."

Poppy patted him on the head. "Stay near me, Evil Paper Bag, okay?"

"RAWR." Said Palmer.

Perry handed Palmer his cup. "Here. I didn't like the punch."

Palmer drank it. "It's good." He smiled at Poppy. "I like daddy. He's nice to me."

"I like him, too." Poppy said.

"You should see our house again soon." Palmer said. "We painted smiling suns on the front yesterday. And our lawn looks cool."

"What did you do with the lawn?" Perry asked.

"That's the funny thing." Poppy said. "Someone mowed our lawn into a picture of a cow eating grass."

"Weird." Perry agreed.

"But we also hung up decorations." Palmer said. "And we have a Halloween pumpkin with a picture of a cell phone on it."

"It was Palmer's idea." Poppy said.

"Candace get a lot of calls lately?" Perry asked.

"Mostly texts."

The song that was playing in the background ended. A new one came on.  
"Oh No, Nuh Uh, Oh No, Nuh uh!"  
"OH NO." Perry hid his face in his hands.

"You know this song, too?" Pinky said excitedly. "Come on, let's dance!"

"I HATE THIS SONG." Perry moaned. "IT'S TOO REPETITIVE."

"PUT ON ANOTHER STINKIN' SONG!" Palmer shouted.

"You heard this song before, too?" Perry asked.

"I've heard enough just now!"

Perry went over to the DJ, Devon.

"Put on something else." He demanded.

Devon stared at him. "Kendrine Adems was requested by someone."

"What IDIOT would request it?"

Devon pointed. Carrie was dancing wildly next to the punch bowl.

"How much to change the song?" Perry asked, digging into his fur pocket.

"Anything more than ninety cents. I'm saving up for a new DVD."

Perry slammed a dollar into Devon's paw. "New artist, NEW SONG."

Devon stuck on another record.

"Do do do, do do do! Do do do what do it do?" Started playing.

"AWW." Said the majority of the agents.

"Much better." Perry went back to Poppy. "This is actually one of Linda's favorite songs."

"Linda?"

"Phineas and Ferb's mom."

"Oh. Nice."

"Where's Palmer?"

"He went off with some of the new recruits. They're around his age."

"I bet Igor can nail Goth Red in a fight."

"Sure he can."

"Are you doubting me?"

"Not at all." Poppy jumped on him.

Perry kicked her off. She crashed against the drinks table, spilling punch on Devon.

"Good thing I decided to wear my red vampire shirt!" Devon said. "It blends right in!"

Poppy attacked again, punching Perry in the face. He ducked as she tried again and kicked her in the stomach.

She shoved him against Peter. Peter fell down on top of Ferdinand, who croaked with displeasure.

Perry pinned her down onto the ground. "I win." He said triumphantly.

Poppy smiled, picked up the bowl of punch that was next to her, and poured it on his head.

"PUNCH FIGHT!" Cried Peter.

All the animals started getting into it. Devon threw cupcakes at Carrie. Peter was pouring drinks onto Alan's head. Darren was flinging Devon's poisonous banana bread.

"Guess what, guys?" Palmer emerged from the supplies closet, his hands full of large buckets. "I found paint!"

The room was in chaos. Perry quickly took off his costume and hid it underneath a snack table.

It was good timing. A paint glob hit him in the back.

"You'd look better yellow!" Said Pinky, chasing Ferdinand around with a paintbrush.

Clara the chicken poured a whole gallon of paint onto Peter, turning him blue. Darren found a box of arts-and-craft supplies and tossed it in the air.

The agents were soon covered in splotches of paint, gobs of glitter, feathers and pom-pom balls.

"Whipped cream!" Said Billy the beaver, squirting it in random directions.

Perry got some on his arm. His fur was now a mixture of green, pink, yellow and a little bit of teal.

Kyle the kangaroo grabbed a bottle of glue out of the art box and squeezed it. Glue flew everywhere.

"AKK!" Devon screeched. "KYLE GLUED ME TO CARRIE!"

"UNBELIEVEABLE!"

The fight stopped. Very slowly, all of the agents turned to the door.

Monogram stood in its frame. "Carl and I leave you unsupervised for ONE NIGHT. And you do THIS."  
The animals looked at each other.

"They started it." Billy said, pointing at Perry and Poppy.

"I don't CARE who the ringleader was. You all were in this, so you are ALL going to clean it up. And when you are FINISHED making this room SPOTLESS, you will need to come to ME so I can spend all night getting that stuff out of your coats! And that isn't going to be very much fun for you, is it?"

Palmer crawled out from underneath a snack table, completely clean. "THAT WAS AWESOME! I could see the whole thing! Remember when Peter…"

"Hush." Perry whispered.

* * *

Perry picked up his costume and left the bathroom.

Monogram was right. That hadn't been fun. It turned out that the paint Palmer had found was supposed to last for all time, so it had taken a whole lot of scrubbing to get it out. The glue hadn't made it any easier. Now his whole body was sore.

It was worth it, though. Perry loved a good fight.

He climbed into the elevator and rode it back up to his backyard. It was already midnight.

He slipped in through the pet door and put his costume next to Phineas's and Ferb's on the kitchen table.

Tomorrow was Halloween. And he'd trick-or-treat with his owners until it was time for his mission.

* * *

"Candace, are you ready?" Phineas fixed his vampire cape and picked Perry up. "Doesn't Perry's costume look awesome?" He asked Ferb.

Ferb gave him a thumbs-up. He was dressed as Frankenstien.

Candace arrived. "All right, I guess we can go now. Just so you know, the instant we meet up with your friends, I'm going to Jeremy's party."

"No costume, huh, Candace?" Phineas said.

Candace groaned.

"Let's go, then!" Phineas put Perry on the ground and opened the front door.

Perry followed them as they went down the street.


End file.
